Nothing to hide, so it's okay to hide it.

Soon, the massed ranks of the Bloated 646 will vote on whether they can hide those tedious little expenses from us. The ones we pay for but have no right to know about.

This week, I have to pay my tax bill. The one generated by a tax form on which I had to account for all my expenses with receipts and justifications. Expenses I, and nobody else, paid for.

The taxman can call me and demand an audit any time he pleases and demand proof that every paperclip, every envelope and every biro was used exclusively for business purposes. I haven't spent anyone else's money. The 646 want to be exempt from this kind of thing. They spend everyone else's money. Something odd here, perhaps?

The Libertarian party (note, I'm not a member) has urged everyone to contact their MP and ask them to vote this insanity away.

The Righteous Paul Flynn, Labour MP for some obscure corner of Newport, Wales, states that it's all in our imagination. There is no scheme to hide expenses. It's all blog hysteria and press babbling. He doesn't know which way he will vote yet or whether he'll bother at all. On what, Mr. Flynn? The non-cover-up non-change to the non-legislation that isn't being proposed?

He'll vote. I know which way he will vote.

How can I know this?

Simple. The Brown Gorgon is fully in support of this scheme and has imposed a three line whip to make sure his Children of the Night vote as instructed. So poor Mr. Flynn will be voting as he's told for a measure he doesn't believe exists. The doublethink involved here is truly breathtaking.

Well, he can count himself lucky. This is one of the few things MPs get to vote on now. Even if they have to vote as they're told, at least they get a vote, which is more than they had on Heathrow or bin tax or job adverts, all done through little paragraphs hidden in other legislation that grant the Gorgon and his coven the power to ignore Parliament. That includes you, Mr. Flynn. Yes, they don't care about your opinion either.

Some Labour MP's have said they oppose the action. Frank Field, Mark Fisher, Kate Hoey, David Winnick. I take off my hat, heavy though it is, in appreciation of the last remaining semblance of reasonable behaviour in the Labour party. If they do vote against a three line whip they'll suffer for it and they deserve respect for having that courage.

The Cameroids fare less well, with only two opposers named so far and nothing but incoherent mumblings from 'Hello Dave'. Little Clegg of the Dim Liberals has stated this action is wrong, and good for him. (Still won't vote for you, Clegg, but do give my regards to Compo).

And yet Mr. Flynn insists there is no expenses cover-up planned. The Gorgon supports it, several of his own MPs decry it, a three line whip insists he must vote for it and yet it doesn't exist.

It must be amazing to live in such a mind. Timothy Leary would turn green with envy at such a kaliedoscope of realities.

Ignorance is strength.